are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
