Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You made out with two different species that night
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
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