My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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