Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
