Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
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