i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
