do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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