There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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