I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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