lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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