I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
