We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
