i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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