Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
