Who wears a wallet chain?!
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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