One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
that is very illegal...i love you.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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