Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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