I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
