i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Alive.
So much puke
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
