then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
