Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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