just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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