Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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