The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
