# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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