I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
