Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
