Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
