I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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