I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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