Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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