how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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