I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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