The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
