I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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