why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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