I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
