The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
