Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
