just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
