We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
