this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
