I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
