we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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