she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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