Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
