There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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