my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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