whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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