There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
