your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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