I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you mean i was at the winter classic?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
